My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
