3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
