You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
its liver damage thursday
Randomize