Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
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