idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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