Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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