You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
