I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
