Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
