Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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