im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
