I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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