dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My feet surprised me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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