ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
