Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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