Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
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WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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