I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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