If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
