My first STD was from a foam party
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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