hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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