theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
