i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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