The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
