you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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