Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
