White coat. Heels.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
