Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
