cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
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You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize