I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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