So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
