We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
