she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
