i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
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He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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