just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
