my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
