She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i believe in u and ur pee
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
