I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize