covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
