He asked me if I "almost moaned"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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