I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
