Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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