I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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