either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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