I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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