Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
