Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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