When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
