please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
