You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
