I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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