woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
