As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
