i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
