we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize