My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Say something about gay babies.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
