I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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