ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
