isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
