you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
