He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
