So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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