so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
