Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
