We're facebook friends in real life
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize