Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize