I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
