worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
