Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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