i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
the condom got lost in my hair
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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