BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
