i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dual....:-)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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