Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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