my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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