if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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